'Benign' Addiction

I am in Kolkata now for a long vacation, for around two months.

I was naturally looking forward to be with my Mother who was to undergo a complete knee replacement surgery, and naturally if the home maker is on complete rest there should be someone to take care of house hold errands.

All is going as planned at home, I am spending most of the time at home, with my parents, helping whenever needed. I also get time to myself - I am indulging in my hobbies - painting, dancing, practicing yoga. In spite of everything there is always something on my mind which disturbs me. I only realized what it was while I was reading an editorial in Times of India - "A Wordy Addiction". That feeling of emptiness is attributed to my addiction to freedom and fondness for the forbidden.

I was brought up amidst a lot of restrictions, where there were colliding opinions for the simplest of things. It was purely because of difference in the thought process between generations. But when I moved out of home for work, I was all by my own and I freely indulged in a gamut of activities. In no time even without my realizing I got so used to this life style which was world apart from that in which I was brought up, that I am finding it quite difficult at home.

I don't know whether this is justified, but I feel sad and I fail to understand how that is possible - I am so fascinated to a life which I am leading just for a couple of years which is versus twenty four years of my life.