Neha's

I will jingle all the way..

2011-05-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

Today morning I danced Bharatanatyam with my Ghunghroos on for the first time. I have been secretly rejoicing over this. Now, I am too full of this to keep it a secret any more. I had been dreaming about this since I was training under my dear Hema Aunty, my Guru.
This morning I had been to Aunty's place for practice for my upcoming Arangetram (first solo recital). Before we started She handed over the ghunghroos to me, after a small namaskaram to the bells, which she did by holding the bells close to her eyes. As if she was telling me "You are now all set to put these sacred bells on, and so I am handing these to you. These are sacred for a dancer. You should now follow your bells. They will guide you when you go wrong while dancing". * Having goosebumps while I think of that moment *
And I started my dance with My Ghunghroos on. It was a new feeling. I was a little uncomfortable but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Dancing this morning was so different! I felt so proud. I was so happy. The jingles are lingering still. * Jhul jhun jhunn jhulll lllnnnnn...*

I never knew I would feel this special. I am happy beyond expression, and My Dear Bells - "I will follow you. It is a whole new chapter from today".

Musing on..

2010-09-01T03:09:00.000-07:00

The qualifiers for water are as lifeless as they can get. Colorless, odorless, tasteless are commonly used for describing water. Yet, lifeless is nothing but a misnomer.

Water transpires a whole lot of meanings and there are some which come to me at this point.

Life, for which it is essential.
The beautiful world we breathe in.
Calamity, which is a consequence of abundance or dearth of it.
Rain, a metaphor for happiness, sorrow, nature; not to forget the effervescence after a rain.
It effuses as perspiration or tears in stress, both physical and emotional.
Lack of it leads to fatigue.
Moving water - a simile for mobility in life; still for stagnancy.
And what means most to me is -
Pure water is transparent. Transparency intrinsically, is beauty. It is a rarity and is precious.

This links me to another chain of thoughts on transparency which is so lovely, but too watery to pen down. Musing on....

Rumbling in Sleep

2010-04-29T10:27:00.000-07:00

In my second standard in school I was asked to write an essay on "A dream", and my Mother suggested I should start my essay with - "A dream is a journey of our mind to another world while we are asleep". You tend to remember somethings forever and this is one of those. I think this is a resplendent, fairytale-like, one-liner for a dream, as told to a seven year old.

Is a dream really a journey of our mind to another world?

Pondering over this, I wandered into the kinds I dream about and of course, of which have a vivid memory.

Struggle with hands during a swim, forgetting about an examination, death of someone close, reading in a dream are the recurrent ones.

Gaucherie while swimming leads to restiveness and frustration in sleep. I fail to stretch my hands fully, as if its locked near the elbow. Waking up early morning and suddenly remembering of an exam, going unprepared, and not knowing what to write in the tests! Morbid ones reflect my general fear and hatred for death. Reading in my dream is weird, I actually make complete sense of what I am reading and read at an incredible speed - gliding over the lines through the pages.

Why are these so frequent? I cannot explain. I don't think any one can! Why even try?
I am sleepy! Adieus.

Just Another Day

2010-03-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

Bad - Skipped dance practice owing to bad calves

Refreshing - Showers at 4.

Ok-ish - Dance class

Cool - Gayle tripping on Sehwag's wicket. Chris surely has his charm!

Superb - Hussey's catch - Exemplary presence of mind!

Heartfelt and touching - Letters of Note - http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/03/beloved-father.html

Disappointing - KKR's loss!

Musings...

2010-03-11T13:46:00.000-08:00

I just completed Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. The novel, as such, was a promising read - a rich literary piece; and the perusal of it leads me to enumerate excerpts which have been most palatable to me. Sentiments, especially those between man and woman, which inevitably exist, but which one is oblivious of, are beautifully brought to notice in these extracts.

*It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

*Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.

* Every thing nourishes what is strong already.

* If a woman is partial to a man, and does not endeavour to conceal it, he must find it out.

* A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment.

* Nothing is more deceitful than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast.

* The power of doing anything with quickness is always prized much by the possessor, and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance.

* Good opinion once lost, is lost forever.

* It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first.

* Women fancy admiration means more than it does. And men take care that they should.

* Is not general incivility the very essence of love?

* He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman’s daughter; so far we are equal.

* Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.

To me, the story, is nothing out-of-the-box; However, the book was not an easy read for me; it was quite some time before I finished the book; but her flair, narrative elegance, sarcastic humor, precise reflection of human emotions, kept me wanting to get back to her; and I can still rejoice over these selections and many more quick-witted ones.

To Sir, With Love

2010-02-23T05:24:00.000-08:00

"To Sir, With Love" reminds me of the ending term in school. I belonged to the most notorious group and was the "ring leader" as Mrs Narayanswamy, out Mathematics teacher, put it. It was only during the last term of school that we learnt some of the teachers, who otherwise were scornful of our behaviour, were "secretly" fond of us. I do not remember the exact words Our Headmistress spoke when we were bidding our adieus on the last day of school, but in essence she meant she would miss us - the tootling twerps of the school.
I have just completed the novel and I am driven into a nostalgic fervour. I miss school and my "ring" mates. I wish I could go back in time and relive my schooldays - with a range of new ideas :)!

Remembering Meera.. Saluting Mrs Arni...

2010-02-08T09:13:00.000-08:00

I am starting to scribble while I try to recuperate from the frenzy, ever increasing since my Guru announced her plans for her annual dance ballet, and reached its peak on the evening of "Remembering Meera..". And its already been twenty minutes and I have been able to write just this one line. Its one of those times when one is inundated and struggles to come to the surface and let go off the emotions which one is overflowing with. The dance has cast a sweet lasting spell and I am inadvertently drifting to the scenes, the practice days, my co dancers, the music and, not to mention, my Guru for the last 48 hours.

This was the first time I entered into a real performance orchestrated by my Guru, Mrs Hemamalini Arni - the role was tiny, the opportunity large. It bestowed a multifaceted chance - A chance to spend time with the more experienced dancers, about whom I had only heard till the practice sessions started, a chance to perceive the nitty-gritties, a chance to observe, a chance to admire and long to be "as-good", a chance that, hopefully, will steepen my learning curve.

How almost three months rolled by I don't think any of us realized. Other than the regular practice sessions, the costumes assembly, jewelery-shopping, tailoring would be salient in the take away memories. These are to say the tangible aspects. The countless hours of thought that has been spent by Hema Aunty into the composition of such a splendid work of art is impalpable. Even after having witnessed the ballet grow from nascency to maturity, nurtured, hammered and moulded into perfection by Aunty, I am not sure whether I get a wee tot hint of the how the mind of a creator could work!

My salutes to her cognizance!

Nothing ever matters...

2009-09-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

It started with a plan to visit a temple near Hyderabad. The Chilkur Balaji temple, better known as "Visa" Balaji, courtesy the thousands flocking there in anticipation of a work visa for the Land of milk and honey. For the natives of Andhra Pradesh, an interview at the consulate is only second to prayers at the temple.
"It is some 100 kilometers from here", suggested the e(o)ver confident S. It is actually close to 35 kilometers. This was itself an alarm, good enough, for people who like to plan even the shortest of trips well to ensure a smooth, yet enjoyable one. But, obviously, we had, by far, graduated out of that category and so we set off for the temple. Locating the temple was easy. The easiness was the booster for the next activity in the agenda, which none of us were consciously aware of. We were done with the temple-chores well in time, that was by afternoon 2 o'clock. None of us wanted to get home that early and everyone agreed to the idea of a drive till Nagarjuna Sagar dam which was 100 kms from the spot of the magnanimous decision. 'A' who was driving all through seemed over enthusiastic which was booster no. 2. S was on call with a friend who was guiding us. Whether it were the comprehension abilities of S or our phone friend's (he was referring to maps on the internet) is till a mystery, but we went completely haywire and missed the Nagarjuna Sagar milestone by couple of tens of kilometers. There was not an iota of vexation from any of us. None of us were probably aware of our mental tenacity, (and physical of course!). We planned on extending our drive till Srisailam, a religious place another 160 kilometers from where we were. By this time we had estimated we would have to spend the night at some place in Srisailam. We missed several milestones, drove back undefeated till the missed milestone, started with renewed vigour only to miss the next one, and drove till a point after which there was no scope of going wrong, as it was a drive uphill, with no digressions. We reached Srisailam by 9 in the night, pompous and proud of reaching the town, albeit late by a few hours and all ready to have a good night's sleep at a decent lodge, ofcourse in an air condioned room, after a sumptuous meal. A bath, next day, at a waterfall en route Srisailam was what we had made note of and were looking forward to. The next day was planned well - worship at the temple, drive back to Hyderabad, stopping at the waterfall for some fun. Hail us, the naive lot! It was the peak season for the Jyotirlingam worship and so all the lodges were packed. Realization, that we would have to spend our night in the car, fortunately dawned on us just before the eateries were about to close. The search for a decent-lodge-with-air-conditioned-rooms was terminated. We were too hungry to be finicky and we thoroughly enjoyed the meal at the first available food joint where flies were a one of the few ingredients in the food.
The night was spent in the car playing cards till dawn, followed by a snooze till proper sunlight. All atleast agreed that they had slept and seemed happy about it.
After the early morning chores, each part of it at a different location in the town, we again realized we could not possibly worship at the temple for the unending queue, and by then were in our minds to start for Hyderabad at a time of a day, early enough to reach before dusk. We started off for Hyderabad, the only part to look forward to being the waterfalls. One of us suggested we should ask some passersby about the place, but we would have probably had some luck if we had done the ritual of asking 25 kms earlier.
I still think the waterfall in question was actually on one of the wrong-roads we had ventured. The trip after that was a smooth ride back, stopping only for tea breaks.
All in all, by the time we reached Hyderabad, we felt triumpant that we knew the different places of visit in Srisailam.
The trip which was a succession of missed milestones and odd realizations was simply put, great fun, owing to all of ours (especially A's) enthusiasm and never-to-give-up-spirit. And ofcourse the continuous spurts of hollering laughter.

The only correct estimation we made was that we would have to halt for a night at Srisailam!

P.S "Companionship matters, and not the circumstances" exemplified!

'Benign' Addiction

2008-07-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

I am in Kolkata now for a long vacation, for around two months.

I was naturally looking forward to be with my Mother who was to undergo a complete knee replacement surgery, and naturally if the home maker is on complete rest there should be someone to take care of house hold errands.

All is going as planned at home, I am spending most of the time at home, with my parents, helping whenever needed. I also get time to myself - I am indulging in my hobbies - painting, dancing, practicing yoga. In spite of everything there is always something on my mind which disturbs me. I only realized what it was while I was reading an editorial in Times of India - "A Wordy Addiction". That feeling of emptiness is attributed to my addiction to freedom and fondness for the forbidden.

I was brought up amidst a lot of restrictions, where there were colliding opinions for the simplest of things. It was purely because of difference in the thought process between generations. But when I moved out of home for work, I was all by my own and I freely indulged in a gamut of activities. In no time even without my realizing I got so used to this life style which was world apart from that in which I was brought up, that I am finding it quite difficult at home.

I don't know whether this is justified, but I feel sad and I fail to understand how that is possible - I am so fascinated to a life which I am leading just for a couple of years which is versus twenty four years of my life.

Passing thought..

2008-03-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

It was the umpteenth time when I was taken aback by the pathetic plight of the "poor" while I was held up in a traffic jam. My mind froze upon some thoughts while I saw a couple of ill-clad children rush towards the traffic as the cars decelerated at the signal. Each of them knew exactly what to do - They are experts at putting on expressions and each of their voices was also toned well enough to drive "mercy" out of anyone. I was in an auto rickshaw as a part of that traffic jam and I could clearly make out what their "tears" were made up of. It was really shocking! I wish their parents had channelized this much of thinking into something more constructive. I wondered how these people can harness sympathy out of the passers-by but then it is rightly so I guess. It is a real pity that these children are forced into an act which I feel is worse than crime.

The traffic moved on and I was left with nothing but helplessness and remorse. I guess there are many who feel likewise but it needs immense determination and hard work to eradicate such unhealthy components from our neighborhoods which many (including me of course) don't indulge in. It is because we are too selfishly involved in our daily chores and so we think we do not have the time for these.

P.S I am not being judgmental about which course we adopt, its just a thought. But at the end of it I am genuinely happy to know there are dedicated organizations which claim to work towards improvement of the social conditions and I hope they are successful even if by a small percentage.

How 'volatile' are they?

2008-03-24T03:26:00.000-07:00

What are volatile variables?

A variable in Java if declared volatile ensures the visibilty of the variable when shared across different threads. Lets consider a variable, say an int i and this variable is declared volatile. Now if Thread 1 changes the value of i from1 to 10 at time t = 0. At time t=1 the value of i which thread 2 reads is 10 and not 1. This is bacause for volatile variables the values which is read is the shared value, which is the most recent value of the variable.

Are they as powerful as locks?

So if the visibility of a shared variable is guaranteed, can one do away with locking with volatile variables?

Consider the following:

A Runnable Class:

public class VolatileRunnable implements Runnable{

private volatile int i;// This is a shared variable

public void run() {

for (int j = 0; j < 10000; j++) {
i++;
}
}

public int getI() {
return i;
}
}

And a main method which uses the Runnable:

public static void main(String[] args) throws InterruptedException {
VolatileRunnable r = new VolatileRunnable();
Thread t1 = new Thread(r);
Thread t2 = new Thread(r);

t1.start();
t2.start();
t1.join();
t2.join();

System.out.println("r.getI() = " + r.getI());
}

Now since the variable i is shared and declared volatile what would be the expected output? To me, going by the definition of volatile the output would be (number of threads) * 10000 (20000 in this case). On running the program I saw the output of 20000 was not always true. There were times when the output was 19445, 19667 etc.

Why is that even if the variable is declared volatile?

The operation i++ is actually a series of read, use and write operations on the variable i. Each of these individual operations are atomic but the combination of them is not.

A snapshot of time

t1 Thread 1 read (i = 3)
t2 Thread 2 read (i = 3)
t3 Thread 1 used (i + 1 = 4)
t4 Thread 2 used (i + 1 = 4)
t5 Thread 1 wrote (i = 4)
t6 Thread 2 wrote (i = 4)

This is a case of lost update. This is what would have happened when the above example was run. Some of the increments were lost and hence the non deterministic output.

Hence in this case even though the variable was volatile atomicity was not guaranteed and so synchronization is indispensable to ensure the expected outcome.

The moral:

Volatile variables are not enough when the expected behaviour in any piece of code depends on the value of a variable before any write operation.

Mind fresheners

2008-01-30T21:49:00.000-08:00

Some songs carry a feeling of unknown acquaintance quite difficult to express.
They take me back in time and I enjoy the feeling though it has an element of nostalgia. I can say a sweet blend of good memories and sad ones but if I really try to identify the times it would be all in vain.

It is not for the first time these thoughts have occurred to me but I feel like penning them down today while I am listening to Ustad Rashid Khan's Aoge Jab Tum.
Yet another song which I love listening to, it encompasses a very fresh flavour with it is Jab Tassavur Mera by Ghulam Ali.
I find its extremely difficult to identify whether it is the lyric or the music that entices me but my state thereafter is just heavenly!

These are a few of my favorite things....

2007-07-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

I only clicked on the link http://zenhabits.net/2007/07/75-simple-pleasures-to-brighten-your-day/ thinking I would just glimpse over but there were some parts of the article which went unnoticed. I was just about to close the window when I realized how well I could relate to some of the points enlisted there. These might not necessarily brighten my day but they do leave me exhilarated for some time at least, and even more as I write about these.

So whats on my list :

Walking barefoot in grass - I enjoy the ticklish feeling as I walk - my feet pressing into and off the soft grass is a lovely feeling.
The smell of fresh uncut grass - this goes extremely well with the smell of wet earth. It leaves me rejuvenated! The latter is generally after a rain. (How about getting drenched in rain.?!!)
Hugging a child tightly - and what follows for most of the times is a squeak or a whimper which makes me cuddle the kid even tighter!
A long conversation with a good friend - all the better if over a cup of elaichi or ginger tea or coffee - It can leave me relaxed and my mood uplifted especially if I have laughed throughout the conversation. Its the same as I talk to some one unknown.
Acting crazy in public - Believe me its crazy! Its not that I do it intentionally - I guess that's my build - :) I get into the fits generally when I am with a good friend - (He/She should not be put off by that - and if that's the case I am put off even more! ). I knew I like being like that only when I came upon this article.
Being gifted with flowers and adorning my home with flowers - Buying fresh flowers every Sunday morning, arranging it on your coffee table of your living room, your dining table and bed room - what a delightful thought!!
Loud music - when your own voice is inaudible and you are unable to think of anything even when you want to - It can be intoxicating!
Enid Blyton books -I remember my school days some how (my school days are the best days of my life) I plan to have a collection of Enid Blyton books!
Hearing someone who can make you laugh.

I don't know if this is an exhaustive list but surely a few of my favorite things!

On Movies.... this and that....

2007-07-18T01:58:00.000-07:00

The movie buff in me from time to time is active after brief periods of hibernation. If I were to describe in one sentence the kind of movies I enjoy for most of the times I would say - "Any story which reflects the director's excellence". This perhaps speaks for why I enjoy a lot of art films or maybe commercial cinemas which are based on some real incident. I am not saying I am a judge of good movie direction neither do I claim that all art movies are directed well.

Of late I have been watching a lot of Bengali films - I have liked all the movies by Satyajit Ray and Rituporno Ghosh I have seen so far. This weekend I grabbed a few VCDs - Antareen(The confined), Sati (The Ritual) and Juganto(End of an Era). These are delicacies by Mrinal Sen and Aparna Sen. I watched Antareen. Its a simple story, there is nothing very elaborate about the sets, it has only ten characters in the film, there are a total of three different locations in the film and yet the film was not seeming slow paced, it kept me engrossed till the end. Most of the films by these directors are made such. Their unique selling point undoubtedly is their story line and the subtle, intricate moves in movie direction.

I have been born and brought up in Calcutta and when I was young I remember my Father going to watch a lot of Bengali films in the theatre. One of the movies he was once trying to convince my Mother, my sisters and myself into watching was Unishe April(19th April). I think the movie had just released then. Obviously none of us agreed - I think because we were lured into watching movies with extravagant sets, good music, known actors.

I am sure it is not easy and I don't know whether I would be really doing it, but I am truly inspired to shoot a short documentary film (may be ten minutes long). It would require immense expertise I feel. I will surely think over it at least. Or is that the maximum I will do?!

Talk over coffee with Sanjeev Kapoor...

2007-07-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

It was just another day - Lazy morning, going to office even lazier, stand up meeting, coffee, coding, some meetings, lunch, more meetings - This went on till five in the evening. All of a sudden ' the friday evening' feeling started to percolate especially in the cubicle where I sit. My colleague and I start some gibberish conversation and we come to the topic of 'filter coffee'. By the way this colleague of mine claims he has evolved into Chef Sanjeev Kapoor by virtue of his attempts to cook. His name is Bharath - if I were to describe him in a few words I would say ' A guy who is really proud to hail from Chennai'. Basically a very simple guy who can enkindle any situation into a funny one - I think very few people can do that.

So we had a session on 'How to make filter coffee'. After a futile attempt at explaining me the making process, which lasted for say fifteen minutes, he made a couple of calls to his mother, we searched wikipedia, and finally zeroed upon the ingredients and the procedure. This was his plight after making filter coffee regularly! Atleast he says he is regular! At the end of it I learnt how to use the filter coffee maker which I had been misusing so long.

I was wanting to move out early from office today and that urge strengthened after I learned our 'boss' had left. It was easy convincing Bharath to accompany me for a plate of Rava Idli to a nearby coffee shop Miverva. We were ready to leave in no time. We truly lived up to the saying -' the mice are out when the cat is away' !

Bharath, I realised has turned into a glutton ever since he 'quit' smoking. (his definition of quit is to abstain till the next time he does it) and I dont need to quit anything for that :). We devoured the idlys at the speed of 1 idly in about 2 mins. We bahaved as if we had not eaten anything and ordered dosa next. A cup of coffee followed. I avidly enjoy the minerva coffee as it is 'filtered' by nature! We talked a lot over the coffee and so called evening snacks. It was really good fun.
Albeit there was nothing unusual about the evening I was feeling fresh and happy by the end of it.

Am back home now and I prepared coffee - the filtered way! Cheers Bharath dear!

Sleepless..

2007-07-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

Its 1:40 am by my watch and not an iota of sleep in my eyes, am wide awake and restless. I am having terrible cough and cold, my nose running, so no fan for me and to add to the vexation the weather is not good enough to sleep off without a fan! I have been switching the fan on and off every now and then - my nose gets worse with the fan, and my discomfort increases without it! How irritating can that be! Its at the peak now. May be it comes down by the time I finish this.

Its one of those rare nights when nothing works at all. Normally 15 minutes of reading or a movie is enough to put me off to sleep.

A friend had joined me for dinner and I was all prepared to sleep after he left at 9:40 p.m. I usually don't go to bed too early but today I thought I would due to this cold which proved so annoying. I read for around forty minutes, calls from friends interspersed. The book did no good so chatted for another half an hour. My cold was taking a toll on me! My sleep was coming down and restlessness increasing. To top it all I was hungry when I was in no mood or disposition to get up and cook something for myself. But it was hunger which took a greater toll and I did get up - prepared maggi, toasted bread and smeared some jam on it. Ate leisurely hoping I would get sleep after that. God knows what made me think maggi and toast would have sedative effects!

Done with second round of dinner or a really early breakfast I tried to sleep for sometime. All in vain! Getting up before 10 a.m next morning would almost be impossible! I went on for a bath and a head wash! Yes with that cold! It may be insanity or may be I was unconsciously trying to complete all the early morning chores so that I would just get up from bed, change and go to office the next 'morning'.

I have just completed dusting the room now, I switched on my laptop and have started writing this. Its 2:10 now. I will post this and let me see what follows. Atleast I have spent almost half an hour without any uneasiness. I hope I am able to drive away that maddening spirit out of me and sleep off now.

(Coughing incessantly now! Courtesy - my head bath! :( Grrr)

Why?

2007-06-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have updated my blog after a long time today! Its not that I am a regular blogger but I almost pledge for atleast two posts a month each time I write. I think I consciously need to take some time off for writing.

Why should I spend some time blogging???

Even those ten to fifteen minutes that I spend writing a post gives me solitude which I enjoy upto the brim.
I like to know people and there is enough scope here. (If I am regular THAT IS!)
I like to pen down my thoughts, as says my blog title. I sometimes even feel like giving a precise description of how feel when I see a little kid smile and laugh but I fail due to my inability to describe my feelings well enough to make a legible post out of it!
I have to keep looking up the dictionary every now and then. I think its a good practice. This made me register to dictionary.com and I learn one new word everyday. Its another story that I might forget after an hour of "learning" the word - and hence I always feel the need of spending atleast one hour on some good reading everyday (this includes blogs).
And it does give me a lot of pleasure me when I know people actually relate to what I am.

Back Home...

2007-06-14T22:11:00.000-07:00

In Kolkata now for a short vacation. Its good to be back home after four long months. My home, the city where I was born and brought up, my shcool, places which rekindle some feelings but fade out before I understand them, funloving memories, its all here in this city and I am filled with undescribeable joy to be here. A day goes by lazing around, chatting with sisters and mom, sleeping, watching television, reading and surfing.

Today I met up with some old school friends and we laughed our hearts out remembering schooldays. School life was so simple and so much fun. All that used to occupy our minds was a class test the next day or some anticipated scolding from a teacher or some fight with a friend. Its amazing how we manage to remember such incidents and they only come up when gossiping with old close friends. I love it. These moments are truly priceless!

I am relishing the juicy himsagar and langra mangoes of the season, I had been a bit diet conscious for obvious reasons for some time, but all that is at bay now.Its been pouring heavily here in Kolkata to top it all. The showers are a bliss in this hot weather. Am trying to "soak" in as much as I can - enough to keep me going till my next vacation here.

My Guru

2007-04-05T22:46:00.000-07:00

House No 417, Road Number 14 Banjara Hills, my dance school - abode of my Guru Smt. Hemamalini Arni - I spend one precious hour every saturday and sunday - trying to extract all that I can from my Bharatnatyam lessons rendered by her.
I can see my teacher, who is now more than 60, neatly braced on a cane chair in her verandah, with a wooden stick in one hand and a wooden plank on her lap (she uses them for the talas) waiting for her students to assemble so that she can start the class for the day, as I enter the drawing room of her home which leads to the verandah. If there is another dance lesson for her senior students in progress, which is sometimes the case on saturdays, if I am early to class, I am a spectator to the on going dance classes. I am awestricken each time. Watching the seniors is really inspiring.

I am writing this post because I want to write down some words, which I know can never be enough, for one lady I admire so much.

Herself having been trained under Padma Bushan Smt. T.Balaswaraswati, Guru Hemamalini Arni has made brilliant dancers out of little girls aged four and five over a period of seven to eight years of dedication and hard work from her and the students of course. She demands perfection in style, poise, posture, composure, health, expressions, mudras from each one of us, always correcting each small mistake, trying to infuse all that she has in each of her students.
It is a wonder that she is so well versed with her students' flaws! That is my Guru, my guide. Her delivery style has made me love the art of Bharatnatyam more. Being her student I realize the amount of effort that needs to go in to achieve perfection.

She is a teacher in the real sense of the word - her teachings about morals and strength of character in between the lessons are what I love listening to. It is bliss to have her as my teacher - I know she is blessing me as I practice my dance lessons and work towards being a dancer.

Its time to say good bye...

2007-03-08T03:15:00.000-08:00

Two colleagues and my little sister..

I hate to say "Bye.. Stay in touch" to my close ones when my they are moving to a different place or if I have stayed at
a place for a days and I am to leave. I should not be saying hate, but I feel really sad.

This week was a "GoodBye" week to two of my colleagues and another colleague's sister with whom I got very friendly in the last few months. Both my colleagues are leaving for the USA. Even though I never spent much time with them I generally am feeling sad.. thats the way I generally feel when I have to part from people. I know thats how life goes on... we meet people, make friends then part and another group of friends and the cycle goes on. Till a few years back this "mourning" period used to go on for a a few days but now it lasts for a day maybe. I remember how depressed I was when I had to return from Manali, where I had spent 4 days with my family when I was a kid. I have grown up now :)

And Jahnavi, my colleagues sister - I met her around six months back. She had come to stay with him here in Hyderabad to prepare for her exams which are due in April. We spent good time together,mainly we shared many cooking sessions . The lovely meal preparations from from a little girl of her age were amazing.. especially the "junbais". Junbai in assamese means "half moon". Junbai is like a biscuit in the shape of half moon. She is generally a quiet girl but as she says "its difficult for people not to laugh or talk when you are around". (I dont know still if thats a compliment or a comment. :)). She is leaving day after tomorrow for her home in Assam. She must be really happy about getting back home after so long but I really feel like holding her back with me. I wish my pretty little sister all the best in life and I hope she overcomes any and everything that comes her way. Be happy always, Jahnavi :)

Ping-Pong or Up and Down?!

2007-03-06T04:51:00.000-08:00

It all started one evening with "Enough! I want to learn some sport!" and what followed was a trip to the Paradise Sachdev sports shop. One friend who learns lawn tennis also wanted to buy tennis shoes so he accompanied me. I purchased two table tennis bats and ping pong balls with the help of his expert advice. I knew he knew TT very well and I managed to convince him that he was to be my coach :D! I had well imagined his plight, but I was all set for learning table tennis, so I did not care.

My first lesson - Tracks on - Head band on :P (this was just to prevent hair falling on forehead and nothing more). Any passers by would have probably thought I was a professional till he saw me in the table tennis room at my apartment basement. Sam was really impressed to see me hold the bat so well for the first time. He did not know I already knew how to hold a bat - some friends in school had shown it to me once. "Why should I tell him that?".

After a few minutes spent in explaining how the bat should be positioned and how my strokes should be we started the game. I learned how to serve pretty well. I missed almost all the shots I was supposed to hit back and even if I hit them God knows where they were going. The pathetic look on Sam's face was like "Please dont do this to me!". I could not help it. I was spent in going up and down to fetch the ping pong ball for all the shots I was missing. He would have killed me if I told him then that I was happy I was atleast working out in the process and thereby not wasting my time!. Poor Sam!His only mistake was he came with me till the sports shop!
His bad luck, not my fault! :D

As if I wanted to make him feel a little less bad, I decided on concentrating more into the game. And I did play reasonably well. Better that what I was five minutes back. He got back his interest in teaching me. He kept on correcting me where I was going wrong especially in the way I was hitting back. But I was learning and we both were enjoying it I could feel.

There is a long long way to go and I want to learn this game well. I dont dream of being a state level champ but yes, I want to learn it seriously. Especially when I have everything at my disposal - the TT table right there in my apartment and more importantly a brilliant coach and friend like Sam. Thanks so much.

The table tennis board is no longer just another object in the basement I look by. I long to come back to in the the evening everday.
P.S - This is what my "Coach" emailed to me ::

"First day was great, good job! Hang in there and you'd be moving very fast, very soon."

Two for joy...

2007-03-02T09:30:00.000-08:00

"One for sorrow..
Two for joy...
Three for a letter..
Four for a toy.."

When i was a child i remember flying off kisses to two singing birds wherever I could see them, getting sad about seeing one and so on... In fact this prevailed till I was in high school. I ensured I never missed it. I remember doing it in the middle of a lesson in school. I was probably bored with the lesson and was staring out of the window into the garden and I must have seen two singing birds and inadvertently i kissed off the birds.I believed my day would not go well if I ever missed a chance or came across a "one for sorrow". As I think back I dont even remember when I gave up on believing these "not-so-important" thoughts.

I suddenly remembered these today morning as I was walking along the Necklace Road (in Hyderabad btw) and came by two singing birds. Not that I had seen them after long but "two for joy" occurred to me after long.I got upset for once thinking I had actually given up on these small things which gave me happiness albeit temporary. The sight of two singing birds would actually give me immense pleasure in that I used to think "Wow! My day will be good today". And the thought that would follow would be "so silly" but at the end of it I was happy with the thought of a wonderful day ahead!

May be these are just perceptions, I start viewing things differently when I want to. I was brisk walking along the tracks thinking of this and that... all random thoughts. But as soon as I saw these pair of birds I saw everything around afresh! A group of teenager boys trying to balance themselves on an iron fence and that they were so happy in being successful or even happier when their friends were falling off in the process. They were lost in what they were doing, enjoying themselves, so oblivious of whats happening around them. They were there for quite sometime but unnoticed by me, I was probably lost in "more important" things. Huh! Two old men on the bench laughing away merrily while talking to each other. I cant describe what it was to see them laugh the way they were. I usually start laughing even when I see two unknowns laugh loud. But this was different. I was really overjoyed! I was smiling I realised! Indeed it is "Two for joy"!

To write or not to write .. what to write??!

2006-12-01T01:31:00.000-08:00

Starting to write a blog has been on my mind since quite few days. I have been delaying it thinking of topics. Just today a friend had to tell me "create an account now and write your first entry.....that's the initial barrier which stops many" and this is precisely what I have done. Am going on a vacation today and would be leaving in fifteen minutes but did not want to postpone it till my coming back ... again that is also "a part of the initial barrier" so just typing in something..... as an introductory post

Well.. I am Neha.. Java programmer..
Classical Dancing and Painting being my hobbies..
Food lover.. love cooking..
Very moody, but funloving to the extremes....!

More posts coming up ... (I have cracked my initial barrier :D)